Monday, January 28, 2013

Mean Girls...at Age Three?

Three-year-olds can have a mean streak from time to time...my child included.

More often than not, though, Anna Claire is on the receiving end of the hurtful comments and actions. And it breaks my heart as a mom, because I can't stop it or control it.

The most common offense is having other girls tell her, "I don't want to be your best friend" or "I'm not your best friend anymore." Or "I don't want to play with you." These words break her heart, and consequently mine.

Several moms and I discussed this issue at a birthday party last April and realized we weren't alone and were all facing this same issue. We talked to the girls' teacher at the time, Sharna, and we all agreed that when this comment would get made to our girls we would say, "Everyone in the Bunnies class is your friend."

Sharna's tactic worked most of the time, but as Anna Claire is getting older, she is less consoled by the "everyone is your friend" fix. So again, I talked to her teacher today in the Ponies class.

She said she sees it too, and thinks the girls say it because they are mad and don't know what to say so they say, "You're not my friend" because it hurts. Her Ponies teachers also tell the kids they are all friends, encourage being friends, to be kind to everyone, and discourage leaving friends out.

I am hoping this is a faze, and that the girls will move through it quickly.

In the meantime, I see a little girl who almost daily has someone tell her they are not her friend or they don't want to play with her... friends she loves very much. And I don't think the girls saying this are being malicious at all. I just wish I could fix it and feel helpless about the whole thing.

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