I felt compelled to write this post today, because when I saw my mom this morning, I realized Anna Claire will probably never see Meme again. I don't want her to remember Meme the way I saw her this morning - so weak, so thin, unresponsive.
Momma is on Hospice, and we know it's just a matter of time (days, weeks) before she will be leaving us. She is ready, has told me so, and is at peace about it. She's down to 86 lbs, unable to swallow and therefore unable to eat. Her living will made it very clear she did not want a feeding tube, so I am just watching her become weaker and weaker with each passing day.
Up until last week, I'd been taking Anna Claire to see Meme for a couple of reasons: 1) Anna Claire asked to please go see her Meme and said she missed her. 2) Momma totally lights up when that little girl enters the room...I could see how much joy it brought her. I know that Anna Claire is Momma's favorite person in this world, hands down...even rating higher than yours truly. That's one of those things that happens when you have kids.
I've been sitting here reflecting on the past few months and the inevitable impact it all must have had on Anna Claire. She has naturally been asking lots of questions, and I've been struggling with how I will handle telling her when mom does pass.
I do think Anna Claire's exposure to the nursing home and assisted living settings have enriched her life (and mine). I have such a warm place in my heart for the residents and care givers, and I am grateful for the life lessons that our experiences have taught us. A smile or a hug brings a tremendous amount of joy to these residents. Momma is by far the minority of residents in both assisted living and nursing homes, receiving many visitors over time. She has someone visiting daily. For most, they rarely if ever have anyone visit. Anna Claire has had the opportunity at a very young age to see how much joy she can bring them just by waving or humoring them when they ask her questions. Never scared, always sweet.
I directly attribute her loving attitude and thoughtfulness toward the elderly to her experiences at both Walking Horse and Signature.
I also will never forget how Anna Claire immediately went into service mode as soon as she walked in Meme's room - thinking of things she could do to help Meme. "Meme, do you want a piece of gum?" That was always HER job each visit...to get Momma a piece of her favorite Tropical Fruit Trident out of her basket, unwrap it for her, and throw the wrapper away. She knew to be quiet when Meme was sleeping and very mindful of this. She often had a drawing that she had made for Meme before our visits.
I will treasure these memories. Anna Claire may not remember as she older, but I know her sweet spirit made a difference in the life of my mom.
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