Ken was our small group leader and Daddy to Anna Claire's Red Barn buddy Lucas. It was so easy to be Ken's friend, and I love anyone who loves and invests in my kids. He invested in them, and in Larry and me.
When I told Anna Claire that Ken died in a car accident, her first comment was to ask me if his car broke, and then she told me that he was with Meme and Freddie, with Jesus.
Bless her heart, she's only five and has lost three major adult figures in her life. Last night she told me to make sure Daddy wore his seat belt when running an errand and to send him in to give her a kiss when he got home.
Then this morning she wondered, "Ken can't come see me in my class anymore?" I reminded her that Ken was with Jesus and even though she can't see Ken right now, she will see him again one day. I reassured her she can talk to him anytime she wants and he is always watching over her. That got a smile.
Later on in the day she asked, "Mommy, can I go to Ken's funeral since he was my man who came to see me in my class?"
Ken would pay Anna Claire daily visits in her classroom at The Red Barn. These visits would consist of him picking her up, holding her up high and giving her kisses. Her teacher Miss Jackie would inform me about this, "Miss Angie, a man is coming in every day to see Anna Claire." I just said, "Yes ma'am. That's just Mr. Ken Murray."
This was not any kind of pediphile behavior, simply an act of love, like a fun uncle. Which was fitting since Larry and I loved him like a brother.
Ken did adore and love Anna Claire. In hindsight, it makes perfect sense to me that they would be kindred spirits. They both have many, many traits in common. They are both old souls and thoughtful and wise beyond their years. They both are always looking for ways to help and do for others and think outside themselves. They are both easy to be friends with: disarming, comforting and reassuring. Truly admirable qualities in a world where most people judge, criticize or ignore.
I am hurting for Ken's wife Teresa, kids Brandon, Lucas and Amelia, and Aunt Nell who has served as caregiver to the two youngest children while Teresa has been deployed the past few months. He loved his family dearly. I hurt thinking about Lucas's upcoming birthday, remembering how his daddy always prayed over him at his birthday parties and how precious that always was to witness.
I feel brokenhearted for all who knew him, because they must surely feel the way I feel. He made each person he met feel worthy, valued, and accepted just as he did for me and my family. It leaves me wanting to be better because I know I can't say that of myself yet, but I'd like to. He's a life changer for me because he's made me want to be a better person.
Church today was tough because Larry and I sat with Ken every Sunday. I felt the void and knot in my stomach as I peered over at the empty seat beside me. I will miss seeing him text and taking selfies of us to send Teresa (always multitasking), making us laugh during sermon, and getting up to get his second cup of coffee before the sermon began.
I am humbled and feel blessed that I was privileged to know such a fine human being and pray that I can take what I learned from him and apply it to my own life. He taught me to always look for opportunities to serve and to show acceptance and understanding to others.
One of his colleagues posted that it sort of makes sense that God would take Ken to be with Him at his young age. That being the over-achiever he was, he had cram packed into his short life what would take most a lifetime to accomplish. This gave me some peace, recalling he had such a full life, impacting so many, but selfishly wanting him here with us.
As I was processing it all I remembered Ken and I were "friends" on YouVersion Bible app. It occurred to me this morning that I had access to scriptures he's highlighted so I read some of them instead of my usual devotional. He had the passage below highlighted which I believe sums up well how he strived to live his life and I pray it will serve as inspiration for anyone who might come across this post:
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:1-8 NIV)
